Always keep the receipt!

Buying a new dress is always an exciting adventure and when there seems to be a jacket that would work very well with the dress (and it all comes within budget) the temptation can become irresistible.  I succumbed to that temptation recently and bought the blue jacket and the pink dress in M&S.  I was sure they would both work but sadly neither of them do.  The blue top would work very well on a woman with a slimmer figure.  The pink dress is too short and my knees (definitely not my best feature) are all too evident.  If I was out and about, I wouldn't feel confident and that has too be the acid test. Good old M&S have a wonderful refund policy so a disappointed but more informed Pamela will be there bright and early on Monday looking for her money back. However, I will probably be tempted to buy something else!

What next for TGirls?

Ireland recently had a referendum to allow same sex marriages.  The outcome was a resounding Yes.  Given the traditional conservative nature of Irish society and the role that the Roman Catholic Church has played until recently, the result showed that change -and radical changes- in societal notions of what is acceptable can be achieved in a relatively short period of years.  Following hot on the heels of the referendum was legislation on gender recognition (actually sex recognition but no one likes to use the s-word anymore).  Initially, the legislative proposals were quite restrictive but perhaps buoyed by the referendum outcome, they were amended significantly by the Government in the latter stages of the Gender Recognition Bill's progress through the Oireachtas (Irish parliament) with the result that the Bill as enacted was very much on the liberal side compared to many other EU Member States.  Hurray for progressive Mother Ireland.

All of this is undoubtedly good but where does it leave the TGirl who doesn't want to transition.  The answer I suspect is that it does very little to improve her position......actually, I mean my position!  The Gay Community have fought long and hard for fairness and their success is overdue and deserved.  Transsexuals have medical science on their side and no one could reasonably begrudge them the recent legislation that will improve their legal rights.  However, part time TGirls tend not to lobby (for good reason) and there is no acceptable science to back up our case.

Even more problematic for progress is that we want to be able to have two separate gender identities as and when we choose unlike gay people who are gay not by choice  or transsexuals who are trapped in the wrong body not by choice.   We want the choice to be what we want.   Sounds reasonable to me but perhaps not to others who think that picking and choosing who you want to be may well be the end of civilisation as they know it.  Consequently, it looks like we will be spending many more years in the wardrobe so I better slip out of these high heels into something more comfortable.

Shaking it off.......?

I love to be creative and I find this song by Taylor Swift (Shake it off) to be fabulously lively and cheerful so I have made my own little video to go with it.  It won't win any awards but it was fun to make.  I hope you enjoy it.

Pamela shaking it off

Gender Identity

Can anyone really say, including a woman, that she feels like a woman.  Similarly, can any man make  a corresponding claim in relation to feeling like a man.  The issue is largely irrelevant because we are what we are and we don't go around wondering about it too much.

Our sex is usually determined at birth by an examination of our anatomical configuration. Legally, we are declared to be male or female and we then begin to live our lives as boys or girls with all the social and psychological presumptions (or is that myths) that are regarded as desirable, important or essential to being male or female.  Traditionally, many of those presumptions tended to go unchallenged and boys/girls and men/women were expected to adhere to them or run the risk of being regarded as deviant.

Girls love ballet...don't they?

The male sex were expected to be masculine (whatever that meant in the society in question) and women were expected to be feminine (as per the societal norms and values). Feminism was important in challenging those presumptions but it failed -more accurately, it never really tried- to dig more deeply into the related and wider issue of gender identity in terms of how individuals (rather than society) wish to define and present themselves.  For most T-Girls (and T-Men) the matter of gender identity, and how they define themselves, is critical to who they are.  They may be anatomically male but they wish to present as and engage as women.

Rather than create a problem for others and society in general, that self expression should be valued as an affirmation that men and women should be free of socially imposed constraints that want the 7 billion human inhabitants of this planet to fall neatly into boxes marked male/masculine and female/feminine.

It's all about confidence!

Gosh, where does the time go?  I have been busy but really there are no excuses for not writing more regularly.  Anyway, down to business! 

Confidence is important in every aspect of our lives.  For T-Girls it can be extremely important because if we don't feel good about how we look it translates to our whole presentation.  I suspect it is somewhat similar for G-Girls when they look in the mirror.  After all, they are under almost constant pressure regarding image, style and body shape.

PhotoA

Here are two photos that sum up my own situation and it's hard to credit the difference.   Photo A features a floral dress that I bought in Marks and Sparks.  I had great hopes.  However, when I put it on at home the next night I was dismayed by what I saw.  It's just didn't work.  Hiding it under a long flowing cardigan was a desperate attempt to escape the reality of not feeling good about it.  The look on my face and the poor posture say everything about how I felt.

Photo B

Fast forward just one night and I'm all frocked up in a figure hugging electric blue dress.  Funny but I was sceptical that this dress would work as the words "figure hugging dress" and "me" had previously only ever made me laugh.  I approached the mirror with the lowest of expectations but...............OMG (and I don't use that cliched term very often) I was shocked, delighted and thrilled.  Was that really me?  I suddenly found myself standing taller and posing provocatively as I admired the Gorgeous Goddess looking back at me. Okay, a little hyperbole but you know what I mean!  My confidence was suddenly sky high.  I wanted to be somewhere where I would turn heads and be the subject of envious whispers.   Photo B is definitely the girl I want to be.  It seems that all I ever needed was the right dress!  I think they might even have made a movie about me -Devil in a Blue Dress

Christmas, LBDs and the TGirl

Christmas is a time for putting on the style and TGirls love donning their glad rags.  The “LBD” (Little Black Dress) has become something of a wardrobe staple –the go to party dress that can be easily accessorised to give it a fresh look.  Given too that it can be worn by women of all ages (if not necessarily all shapes) and that it can hug a reasonable figure to flattering effect (especially where industrial strength shapewear provides the necessary underpinning) it is not surprising that it has also achieved an iconic status. 

The photos with this blog post show me and my LBD (but, thankfully, not my shapewear).

Happy Christmas to Everyone 

Choosing Names

T-Girls are in the fortunate position of being able to pick their names.  Sometimes, the chosen name can relate to a girl they really like or a woman who had a positive influence on them in terms of developing their feminine side.  In other situations, the name might be what they believe they would have been called if they had been born biologically female.  In many cases, however, it is simply a feminisation of their male first name which has the added advantage that the retention of the initial can help with credit cards etc.  That's how I came up with Pamela after considering Petra (too dog like), Petunia (too flower like), Prudence (too fussy) and Pandora (altogether too hopeful).  Having said that, other considerations were high on my list of factors to consider: including, not picking a name that would sound silly when I was a silver haired old lady in her late 70s.  That's why such wonderful monikers as Kylie, Pixie, Jasmine, and Trixibelle was never really serious options.  On reflection, maybe I should have gone with Elizabeth as you are never too young to be a Beth or too old to be a Betty.